#i hope that the tone of a Slightly Annoying Music Reviewer Who Tries to Appear Smart Yet Cool

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 11: Angst In My Pants (The Decline And Fall Of Me)

Album two of two in the series of Sparks' immaculate new wave releases! Iconic in every way imaginable from the music to the artwork to ONE music video. I think it's more musically (and lyrically!) varied and mature in tone (besides... a couple exceptions. Yes, an album called Angst In My Pants) than its predecessor, which is a very good development. These songs will leave you chuckling and bopping along and also pondering the intricacies of human existence. Ok, maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but it can't be denied that behind much of the earnestness and theatricality here, there's lots of quite emotional, introspective and thought-provoking stuff to be found.

Thematically, this album goes everywhere. One moment we are in Sextown U.S.A, the next we're visiting Disneyland, California where we make friends among people and animals. On a more serious note though, I think the biggest emotional whiplash one could experience between different songs on an album is between Mickey Mouse and Sherlock Holmes. And yet there's still a very prominent element of humour, even in those songs that are on the more serious or dramatic end of the scale.

I said a few days ago that I'd try to return to the topic of Sparks' brand of humour and how it works, but I don't feel intelligent enough to analyse that today. And I'm pretty sure that from what I've seen, Other People And The Maels Themselves (Said It Better Than Me). So instead, as a little send-off, please remember: if a mouse can be special, well, SO CAN YOU!!! 🫵

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Angst In My Pants: literally no other song like this one in this world. I can't tell why that is but it's just. So great

I Predict: I had a weird kind of effect where I heard this song in my early days of Sparking and it felt VEEERY familiar to me. I think it was due to the genre / style here, it reminded me of something specific, at first I thought it was very glam rock but I'm pretty sure that this is not it but something else (and I don't know what to call it in that case!). Anyway, banger song

Tarzan And Jane: whoa wait, am I already skipping to the third-to-last song on the tracklist?? I guess I am. This one's great and one of my early favs too (I wonder how long it will take until I run out of things to say about my fav songs and it all just becomes this list of 'it's very good and I like it a lot. next.')

The Decline And Fall Of Me: it's great!! I like it!! And, of course, "check out my pizzas"

Eaten By The Monster Of Love: personal reasons that lead to a printed and framed mini-comic of my making appearing on my desk, which features some of the lyrics of this song, which caused me to have it permanently stuck in my head for a pretty long period of time. And this way I ended up liking it much much more than I did in the beginning, when it still seemed somehow pretty unremarkable to me

[jemmahazelnut]

More than friends (or two idiots)

Summary: Laxus and Freed act like two boyfriends, but they're the only ones who don't notice. [Freed/Laxus]

Links: AO3 - Fanfiction

I hope it is at least readable, sorry for all the mistakes, English is not my first language.

More than friends (or two idiots)

It’s time to find a girl

Makarov snorted loudly and the boys around him turned to understand what was wrong.

"Something wrong?" Mirajane asked politely.

"That idiot of my grandson" snapped Makarov. Mirajane raised an eyebrow as Bickslow and Evergreen leaned curiously towards him: when it came to Laxus they were always interested. "He's twenty-six now, it's about time he found a girl to marry" he muttered.

"He’s still young" Mirajane told him, and Lisanna leaned on the counter curiously.

"I've never seen him with a girl" she said, wondering what his tastes were.

"Of course not! Nobody could stand him" snapped Makarov and Evergreen and Bickslow giggled "He needs a wife, that's no doubt, a girl to look after him and stop him from bullshitting" he continued undaunted, at which Bickslow laughed louder.

"Master, don't worry, he already has a wife, or rather… a husband" Bickslow said amused and the old man turned to him, arching an eyebrow. Mirajane and Lisanna turned to them in amazement and Bickslow giggled even more. "I mean, Freed has been looking after him for years and stops him from doing shit every time" he said. Makarov's eyes widened.

"They are engaged?" he asked.

"No!" Evergreen immediately exclaimed "But it's only a matter of time, sooner or later they will get together" she added. Makarov frowned and thought about the two boys, in fact he had never thought that there could be more than friendship between them. But the more he thought about Freed and Laxus, the clearer many things became in his mind, and the more a smile spread across his face. Yes, Freed would have been the ideal person for Laxus. He worried about him, scolded him for bullshit, and he was actually the only person who could stand it without freaking out. And besides, the two boys were already spending a lot of time together, maybe even they were already in a relationship.

“Are you sure they're not having a secret relationship? I wouldn't be surprised by those two” he said. Evergreen and Bickslow, however, nodded with conviction.

"We too had doubts" he admitted. "So, we sent Peppe to follow them, but there is nothing between them... unfortunately. They are just two idiots”.

Laundry

"What are you doing here?". Laxus knew that Freed would occasionally walk into his house without warning, checking that the refrigerator was full and shopping for him when he forgot, which didn't happen as often as the rune mage insisted. But it never happened that he walked into his room without his permission and... that was embarrassing, because Freed was holding his dirty clothes. Laxus wouldn't be interested if it weren't for his underwear, including a pair of leopard-print briefs, on top of the shirts his friend kept.

"The laundry, how many days have you not done it?" Freed asked.

"Mind your own fucking business!" Laxus growled, blushing slightly and trying to get his clothes back, but Freed backed away.

"If you had asked me, I would have done it for you" he told.

"You don't have to do this to me" Laxus snapped. Freed smiled.

"You know it's not a problem for me". The blonde grunted, it was a problem for him. He crossed his arms in annoyance, while Freed quietly walked to the bathroom throwing the clothes into the washing machine. When he touched his briefs, he blushed slightly and a smirk appeared on his face, at which Laxus ordered him to move and Freed threw them in, then set the program and start the machine. He stood up, turning to the blonde.

"I've never seen you in briefs" he said and Laxus gave him an embarrassed look, he shouldn't have known. Freed smiled a little amused. "You don't have to hide it from me, you know I'm wearing them" Laxus looked at him for a moment stunned while his face was colored with a pink shade. He had no ideawhat Freed was wearing under his clothes. And was Freed telling him so quietly? His expression must have been eloquent enough, because Freed arched an eyebrow. "You've seen me in swimsuit several times" he specified and Laxus turned his gaze away.

"Anyway, I'll do the laundry myself" he said brusquely.

"Absolutely not. I saw how you reduced your clothes, a white shirt turned pink and the sweater Evergreen gave you shrunk. I'll do it for you from now on" he decided and his tone did not allow for replies. Laxus was about to argue, but he froze when he realized something.

"Did you rummage in my closet?"

"Of course, I also fixed it for you, it was a disaster" Freed replied and then gave an amused smile. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about your questionable patterned briefs set" Laxus blushed even more. Damned Freed and damned the day he gave him the house keys.

"Now go out, I have to clean up" Freed said opening a bathroom cabinet and Laxus raised an eyebrow, that was his bathroom, he wouldn't get out of there. "You heard me? Look what a mess, I said go out” he repeated pushing Laxus into the corridor. The blonde growled nervously but let him, vowing to take back the keys he had left him.

A quiet evening

It was three in the morning and Freed had not yet fallen asleep. The reason was simple, he couldn't tear himself away from that book and he didn't feel tired in the slightest. That's why he was the only one still awake in the library, sitting on the floor in a corner while he leafed through the pages of that tome. He was so engrossed in reading that he didn't notice someone had entered until he heard a voice and jumped.

"Still awake?" Freed looked up to see Laxus approaching him. Freed blushed slightly, knowing full well that the next day the two would train alone and had decided to start at six in the morning. Or rather, Laxus had made up his mind, because he wanted to do a tough workout and didn't like wasting time.

"I was just about to go to sleep" he lied while a slight blush filled his cheeks, he hoped that thanks to the darkness his friend would not notice it, but in vain because the blond arched an eyebrow.

"Really?" he asked blatantly ironic with a grin and Freed snorted looking down at the book. He was close to it, just a chapter and he would finish it.

"Well..." he began, but did not finish the sentence because Laxus sat next to him leaning his head against the wall. Freed looked at him a little surprised, he had thought that he would scold him and that he would remind him of the next day's training.

"What book is it?" he asked instead.

"One on dark magic" Freed said.

“Mm… then I'll wait for you. Tell me when you finish it” Laxus said, putting the headphones to his ears. Freed gave him a curious look and smiled to see him close his eyes and move his fingers slightly to the rhythm of the music. They were sitting so close that their arms touched each other and Freed began to read the book again. He could slightly hear the music coming from the headphones but he didn't bother him, not with Laxus standing next to him. When he was missing a few pages, he suddenly felt a weight on his shoulder. He turned in surprise and saw that Laxus had fallen asleep on him. He felt the warmth flooding his face and a smile widening, while he observed the calm expression of the boy who had begun to snore slightly. He slept soundly and still had headphones on. Freed gently took them off and turned off the music without waking him. He stood watching him for a while and wondered if he should wake him up. In the end he decided that he would do it later, he could not allow the boy to sleep uncomfortably. Meanwhile, however, he could enjoy that closeness.

Intentional forgetfulness

"Have you forgotten it again?" Freed snapped and Laxus rolled his eyes, ignoring the looks of Bickslow and Evergreen, who were arranging their sleeping bags in the wood.

"I was thinking of something else" he grunted nervously.

"This is the third time this month you have forgotten him, can I know what’s wrong with you?" Freed said annoyed. Laxus crossed his arms.

"Last time you said you would take care of it. Besides, you are the captain "he blurted out. Freed took a deep breath.

"Well, take mine then".

"Oh my God, don't start again, we all know how it's going to end" Bickslow said and the two boys turned to their friends. Laxus tried to hide his embarrassment and glanced at Freed, who had a sharp expression on his face but you could also see a slight blush. "Freed will offer his sleeping bag, then Laxus will say he won't let him sleep in the cold, you will ask us to share our sleeping bags and we will say no, and in the end, you will fall asleep together like two lovebirds in love" he snapped the tongue. Evergreen continued:

"And now they'll say it's not true, it's just because you can't sleep in the cold this season, but as it happens neither of them remembered Laxus' sleeping bag". Laxus looked at them in annoyance. Well, maybe he did it on purpose not to carry the sleeping bag, but damn it, if Freed had bothered sleeping with him so much, he would have remembered it instead of him, right?

"It's not my job to remind me of all your stuff, it's hard enough to keep up with the two of you" Freed immediately defended. "And in any case, you can feel the cold for yourself, but if you prefer sleep without a sleeping bag and leave it to Laxus, I really want to see how you freeze" he said. "And just to clarify, it's not that if two people sleep together, they are two lovebirds in love, if you don't understand the value of friendship and don't intend to share your sleeping bag with Laxus, then you'd better review your principles".

"Whatever" Bickslow muttered exasperatedly and Freed slipped into the sleeping bag. Laxus mentally thanked him for answering for both of them and lay down beside him. Since the sleeping bag was for one person, the two boys were inevitably stuck together, and that did nothing but please Laxus, even if he would never admit it. He observed Freed who in turn was looking at him red in the face.

"Laxus..." the rune wizard whispered after a while "Why do you always forget your sleeping bag?". The blonde felt a vague sensation of unease and snorted.

“You know I forget everything. Night” he snapped. Freed didn't insist closing his eyes.

"Goodnight" he murmured and Laxus watched his face relax as he felt a sensation of warmth spread from his stomach. He smiled and after a while closed his eyes.

Gift

Freed hated when it didn't add up. He usually had enough jewels with him, because he always carried something extra with him just in case. However, that last mission had caused a lot of trouble and Freed had had to buy drugs that cost exaggeratedly. So, he found himself with the jewels flush and he was quite nervous. Sure, it was still a good sum, but Freed had come to that city to stock up on books and now he found himself having to choose which book to leave behind. A difficult choice, considering that they were all unique and extremely valuable copies. So, he had been in that library for hours, sitting at a table surrounded by about twenty books while he tried to rationally evaluate which one to leave there.

"You're still here?" a voice broke out above him and the rune mage looked up: Laxus was back from the music store.

"I'm almost done" Freed assured him.

"You've been in here for hours, even Evergreen finished shopping before you" said the blonde and Freed snorted. It wasn't an easy choice! Was he leaving behind the book on ancient curses or the one on white magic? Or maybe it was better to forget the one about runic writing, after all he already had some at home, but that one had so much more information... There was no right choice. But Laxus was right and he certainly didn't want to make his comrades waste any more time. With a bitter look he began to take the books and put them in the trolley from the most important to the least, but when he got to the last three books he stopped dubiously. He still hadn't chosen which one to leave there. Laxus frowned at him.

"What's the problem?" he blurted out.

"None, I just have to choose which book to get" Freed muttered and eventually took two, reluctantly leaving the one on runic writing there. His heart was crying to abandon him. "Enough, I have chosen" he said more to himself than to Laxus, and with the trolley he walked towards the cashier to pay. The woman seemed happy enough to sell all those books and Freed left the bookstore embittered.

"Finally!" Evergreen exclaimed. Freed gave her a dirty look, usually it was she who kept him waiting for hours, she couldn't really tell him anything.

“Why that snout? You bought yourself a lot of books” Bickslow observed. Freed snorted.

"Nothing, let's go" he cut him short.

"Now we have to wait for Laxus" Evergreen observed. Freed threw a surprised look inside the library, Laxus was actually buying a book. The blond came out shortly after with the tome on runic writing and stuffed it into Freed's bag, who immediately felt warmth in his face taken aback.

"L ... Laxus, you didn’t have to do it" he stammered.

"Now keep it, and next time tell me instead of wasting our time" grunted the blonde. Freed smiled running his fingers over the cover.

"Thanks" he said genuinely pleased.

"Tsk. Better for you that you take that muzzle off your face, come on, let's go” Laxus ordered and walked away, Freed happily joined him ignoring the giggles of his teammates.

Birthday cake

Laxus knew how to cook, he simply let Freed do it most of the time because his friend liked to do it. So, the teasing of Bickslow and Evergreen had no basis. So, after being teased by the two friends, more as a personal challenge than anything else, Laxus had made up his mind to cook the cake for Freed's birthday. The problem? The cake Bickslow told him to make was made from three layers of custard, with cream puffs and cream on top. That bastard had chosen something complex on purpose just to get him damned.

So now Laxus found himself with the cream puffs in the small oven, the cake in the large oven and the custard that he was preparing in a saucepan over the fire. He was nervous, there were too many things around and too many things to watch out for. Making that cake was turning out to be a nightmare. Laxus smelled the smell of burning, he didn’t initially understand what it was among all those things, so first he turned off the saucepan in which he was mixing the cream, then he took out the cream puffs and finally realized that it was the base of the cake that was burning.

"Shit". It was really burned on the bottom and sides. "Maybe I can cut off the burned part" he thought and took a knife and began to pull away, but the more he pulled away the more the cake took on a horrible shape, and finally Laxus threw it in the garbage can. "Fuck!" he blurted out irritably.

"Everything good?" Laxus turned suddenly realizing that this was Freed and had just entered the house. Shit. He had nothing to give him and the cake was gone.

"Laxus was trying to bake your birthday cake" Bickslow grinned from the living room. Laxus would have thrown the knife at him if he had been nearby, and he noticed how Freed's face turned red as he walked into the kitchen.

“Oh… you didn’t have to do it”.

"In any case, I burned it, so you won't have a shit" Laxus snapped irritably. Damn Bickslow, if he hadn’t chosen the cake to prepare by then it would have been ready. Freed smiled as he approached the stove.

"Can I taste?" he asked him pointing to the custard and Laxus motioned him to do what he wanted. Freed took a teaspoon and tasted. “It's good, and the cream puffs seem ready to be filled”.

"Then you'll have the cream puffs" Laxus grunted and Freed took the sack to start filling them. Laxus stopped him immediately. "It's your birthday. I'll do it” he said sharply, but Freed lifted his face and smiled softly at him, so much so that Laxus felt his stomach flutter.

"I like to cook, let's do it together?" he asked timidly. Laxus was unable to say no, and ended up holding the cream puffs while Freed filled them with cream, even though by now the blond could not help but look at the beaming smile on his friend's face. If it took so little to make him happy, perhaps he should have cooked more often for him.

A rose

Mirajane and Juvia had made up their minds to decorate the whole guild hall for Valentine's Day, Freed had been pulled in the middle -he didn't know how yet- and now he had the task of buying flowers. So that morning he found himself with two bunches of roses in his hand as he walked towards the guild. He passed Laxus's house and wondered if it would be a good idea to declare himself that day. In reality it seemed to him that he was already quite obvious, but perhaps with Laxus he had to be more explicit. The thought, however, agitated him, because even if he seemed to have a certain intimacy with Laxus, he was not sure that he had interpreted his behavior well. He didn't want to pressure him, or ruin what was going on between them, whatever he was.

He didn't realize he had stopped in front of his house until the door opened and Laxus walked out. Freed beamed at him but noticed that the boy's face was becoming perplexed and… was he blushing?

"Morning" Laxus said brusquely as he approached.

"Morning, I was going to the guild" Freed greeted him. He started to walk away but noticed that the blonde was looking at him as if he was expecting something. Freed frowned and following his gaze he noticed that he was staring at the roses he was holding.

"Flowers for Mirajane" Freed explained right away.

"Mirajane?" Laxus asked frowning and Freed realized how bad he had sounded.

"No! I mean, she has to decorate the hall and she sent me to buy them” he explained.

"Oh. Okay” Laxus said in surprise, putting his hands in his pockets. The two boys advanced in silence, while Freed occasionally cast a few curious glances at Laxus. He had seemed almost disappointed before, as if he had thought the roses were for him. Perhaps he would like to receive them. Freed blushed at the thought of giving him a rose and shook his head. Of course not, Laxus was not the type for flowers, nor for such romantic fuss.

But when he arrived in the guild Freed noticed how the boy watched the other couples exchange gifts. At that point he made up his mind. Even if Laxus didn't seem like the romantic type, he could always be wrong. Moreover, by giving him flowers he would finally express his feelings towards him.

So that evening Freed took courage and, with a single red rose in his hand, showed up at Laxus's house.

"Happy Valentine's Day" he said awkwardly, holding out the rose in front of him as Laxus opened it, feeling his cheeks ablaze for what he was daring to do.

"Tsk. Do I look like the type to give a rose to?" Laxus snapped and Freed blushed even more wanting to bury himself in embarrassment. He was about to put the flower aside, but Laxus took it between his fingers. "Come in, there's a good movie on the Lacrima" he told and Freed obeyed a little uncertainly. But when he saw how Laxus turned the rose in his fingers with a tiny smile on his face, he immediately relaxed. Laxus really liked the gift.

Two idiots

Freed and Laxus were sitting quietly at the guild when Makarov called out to them. The two approached immediately thinking that the Master had a mission to give them. Makarov actually had a huge smile on his face.

"Guys, I've booked a table for you at the restaurant on the corner, go there, it's my reward for all the missions you've done lately" he told them. Laxus raised a doubtful eyebrow, wondering when the old man was so kind, while Freed offered him a thousand thanks. In the end, however, they accepted, Laxus still a little doubtful about the old man's intentions, while Freed still deeply grateful to the Master.

"Well, go out on a date" Bickslow grinned next to him and the two looked at him stunned.

"It's just a thank you from the Master" Freed replied while blushing visibly. Bickslow didn't insist and finally Laxus and Freed headed for the restaurant.

"You say it's a date?" he dared to ask Freed all of a sudden, that he'd been thinking about it all afternoon.

"No" Laxus snapped immediately. "Bickslow imagines things, that's all" he said dryly. Freed didn't argue. After all, date or not, he was going to spend an evening with Laxus, and that was all he wanted.

"DEGENERATED GRANDCHILD!" they heard Makarov's scream and the two turned to see the old man waving his stick above him with Bickslow and Evergreen at his side.

"I told you Master, they're two idiots" Bickslow chuckled.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

a whatever review of Blood of Zeus - no spoilers

First of all, I watched the show in Greek dub for immersion, since it’s set in Greece and I speak Greek. I recommend choosing this dub if it’s availiable. The Greek dub is quite good, a bit better than the English one, someitmes. Heron’s voice, for example, was more fitting in Greek, I thought. Thanks to this amazing Greek, Konstantinos Repanis. <3

The show is written by two Greek Pontiac brothers, and I got excited when I saw the name of their studio! Pontiac pride right there!!

The Parlapanides brothers:

They also fit some people of Greek heritage there, like Elias Toufexis (Seraphim) Melina Kanakaredes (Ariana) and Chris Diamantopoulos (Evios). I like that they at least tried! Hollywood rarely does that.

But then I saw the “Greek“ letters of the animation team and something died in me xD

Anyways, I liked the story, music and animation a lot! They showed their concept art in the end credits and I was happy to see the whole creative process behind the final result! the imagery is great, and the gods seem magnificent and cool :D The battles were also great, the characters memorable. Heron wasn’t such a strong character but the rest of the show was great so it helped.

I am well aware of the inaccuracies but I was already prepared for them so they didn’t annoy me as much. People often write stories with the gods in different situations and nobody binds them to make them 100% like the sources we have. However, I understand the viewers who wanted something more accurate but they got another fantasy asspull.

People always want to change stuff in Greek mythology, because they get bored or they want to bring a spin, ignoring the hundreds of other stories in the mythology that are not so known but still pretty cool. At this point we have more “fantasy“ stories with Greek mythology than accurate depictions. And they need some love, too, ya know?

I will admit, though, that I liked the scientific layer they gave to the story - like the godly accessories that worked with divine energy and robots (the last one is accurate to the mythology to an extent, and I was happy to see it!)

I didn’t like the role they gave Hera and Zeus' act in the end :/ But some could say that Zeus had a proper ending since it was his chance to make things right. Still, such acts weren’t fit of Hera and Zeus according to their depiction in the ancient myths. I wish more thought was given to ancient Greek concepts, even more so because the writers were of Greek heritage (ΓΙΑΤΙ ΡΕ ΒΛΑΣΗ ΜΑΣ ΤΟ ΚΑΝΕΣ ΑΥΤΟ???)

The whole thing with the blood of Titans and "demons"/”giants” is very weird because it was never part of the mythology. And even though I enjoyed the creativity, the depiction of the Titans didn’t fit the Greek tradition very much. They looked more like monsters and they didn’t remind me of Greek stories a lot. So it broke my immersion at times. Still, maybe they were going for a lovecraftian tone (or even, a connection), so I went along with it :P

And the evil guy was named Seraphim?? That’s not a Greek name, tho???

Thankfully, the gods felt actually powerful and majestic! So many productions reduce their appearance and abilities but here they shined!

BoZ Hera is gorgeous, I lover her and I have her back. She looks amazing and regal!

We didn’t see much of Athena but I hope she will shine, too, in the 2nd season! Her design is amazing, as well (but I didn’t like the boob plate :P)

Another beloved female character of mine is Alexia (GO GO GUUUURL) and I would do anything for her

Apollo is precious (and f-ing gorgeous) but Hermes is even more precious. I love his cape! Also, I liked they showed Apollo’s orientation!

Apollo gave the best “OH SHIT, WE ARE FUCKED“ face I have seen in a while xD

Some more Apollo Appreciation pics (I liked all of his designs):

I love Hephestos, too! AND HIS LITTLE OWL, OOOMG!!

Also, the Underworld is secretly governed by the Greek political party PASOK (ΠΑΣΟΚ) and you can’t change my mind!!!

ΑΝD YOU CAN’T CHANGE MY MIND

Some of my ramblings during episodes:

EP1 _______________________________________________________

zeus and hera are lovers WHOOOOAH <3

Zeus is like a slightly douchey but lovable Greek uncle

heron is surprisingly buff for a starving peasant xD what genes!

i refuse to believe ancient Greeks had such good noses!! That’s an inaccuracy right there!! xD

Alexia is booooss

EP 2_________________________________________________________ The placenta thing (two placentas for two fathers) makes no sense?

But Hera with boobs out? come ooon

But Hera is voiced by one of my fave childhood actors! Maria Plakidi

it shows snow in greece, yeeesss

Apollo is magnificent afdsgfdfggf

FAM, DO YOU SEE A RADIANT BLOND GORGEOUS SHINING GOLDEN GOD AND YOU ASK HIM WHO HE IS??? OFC HE IS APOLLO

AND YOU MY STUPID BICH- EEEH I MEAN, KING, DONT YOU RECOGNIZE ZEUS??? THE KING OF YOUR PANTHEON??? HELLOOOO???

YAAAASSS STAB HIIIIM

i want the sword to light my room, because it needs no batteries

why did they use small letters and the intonation system? o.O Parlapanide, RESEARCH, MY CHILDREN!! It’s your parents’ language!!

THOSE BITCHES STOLE KERVEROS??

ooh her hair is bloooond! (no matter the colour i was happy to see her hair xD) i think she will be a love interest

3rd _______________________________________________________

oh those family fights are rad

NOOOO DONT BADMOUTH HERMES :'(

Ζeus is a good GPS in battle o.o

6th____________________________________________

WOOOOOWW ZEUS ADMITS HE FUCKS UP, HOW NICE FOR A CHANGE

CHARON, MY DUDE, CHILL-ARE A BIT

ALSO THEY MADE YOU LOOK LIKE A MONSTER BUT WE ALL KNOW YOU ARE A CUTE SKELETON PAPPOU :/

OOOH we have a nice tragedy theme here

Heron needs some YOGA and Hephestos will be his YOGI, THE END!

Attention, one of the Moires is kinky o.o

Heron, my child, free will? In THIS era??

8th ________________________________

oh those family fights are rad

epilogue: Seraphim is like "I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIIIIT"

[dead-inside-like-loki]

Snake on a Plane: Loki x Reader

Rating: Teen

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3084

Summary: You've got a long flight ahead and tons on plane based fear and anxiety. You have no clue how you're going to make it through until an amusing and annoying gentlemen appears. 

“Twelve hours!?” you practically screamed, flopping onto your bed, you hated flying. 

“That’s correct mam. Is everything alright?” The information woman had been putting up with your constant questions and whining. 

“Yeah everything is fine. Thank you so much.” you hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling. Tomorrow you had a long flight tomorrow to meet up for a job interview that could go either way and then, of course, the flight back. Needless to say you weren’t looking forward to any of it. Reluctantly you got up and packed your bag for the weekend and crawl into bed.

                  *** THE NEXT MORNING ***

After waking up late and having to skip your shower, getting wanded by security for the metal hair clip you forgot in your pants pocket, breaking a wheel off of your bag, and forgetting your laptop cord resulting in you buying an overpriced one from an airport shop you were giving up hope quickly. You were seated at your gate, reviewing what you’d be talking about at your interview. You had your headphones in and had the music loud, nodding to the beat and shutting out the anxiety. Failing to pay attention to the others around you rising to board the plane, you kept looking at your laptop until a hand gently caressed your cheek. Startled your laptop slipped and fell to the floor, the screen cracking. 

“Oh, you have got to be” you were livid “fucking k-…” you saw him kneeling in front of you “...me?” you were entranced. Your face began to heat up as he spoke in a low, sultry and slightly seductive voice.

.“Well, we’ve only just met but, I certainly won’t deny you if you’re offering yourself to me. Though we may want to board the plane now Dove.” He was beautiful, there was no other was to really put it. His pale and delicate complexion contrasted flawlessly with striking emerald eyes and ebony hair. His white teeth shone in a smirk as he scooped your laptop from the floor and returned it to you. 

“Shit!” You came to your senses, snatched up your bag, boarding pass and made your way to the gate. You could hear his low chuckle behind you and feel that paralyzing gaze. It made you shiver, earning another chuckle. Boarding and finding your seat was the least stressful part of your day. For a brief moment you thought you were lucky enough to have no one sit next to you, until the beautiful man sat beside you.

“Is this seat taken Dove?” He greeted with a sly smile.

“N-No but aren’t the seats assigned? Couldn’t that be someone else’s spot?” You semi stammered. He held out his ticket and showed you that it was in fact his seat.

“Lucky you. You get to spend the next twelve hours next to me. So, shall we start with idle chat or get down to the dirty talk right away?” he purred into your ear, giving you goosebumps. 

“I’ll just stick to my music thank you.”

“Not without these.” he held up your headphones in his far hand.

“How did you-?”

“It’s a natural talent lets say.”

“Being a thief?”

“No, causing mischief.” he grinned.

“Does mischief have a name?”

“Loki. And you Dove?”

“Y/N”

“Magnificent. Well Y/N, with twelve hours to go, care to spend a bit of it chatting with me? Or does the Midgardian folk song please you more?”

Oh I’m sure you could please me far more than any song You thought to yourself, looking him over. He chuckled beside you and gave a wink. 

“That much I can promise you love.” His voice could only be described as lust filled and seductive. Your face turned bright red with realization. He laughed “Yes darling, you said that out loud.” 

Absolutely mortified, you pulled a magazine from the seatback in front of you and buried your face in it. Loki was still laughing beside you. “This flight is fairing to be a good one.” 

A few minutes passed and you slowly managed to put the magazine down and chose to stare out the window. The flight attendant came round to ensure that everyone was buckled in and ready for takeoff. Your flight anxiety rose up again as the engines roared to life and you found yourself gripping the armrests. The plane began moving out to the runway as your breathing and heart rate picked up the pace. 

"It's fine. This is fine. I'm fine. I'll be fine. It's just twelve hours. It's just a giant… metal… bird… death trap… a million miles in the air." Your confidence broke as tried talking yourself out of the oncoming panic attack. 

"I'll take a stab in the dark and guess that you don't like flying." Loki teased. 

"What gave you that idea genius? The fear in my voice? The panic in my eyes? My shaky breathing?" You glared, tears brimming. 

"Well, yes. Is there anyway to ease your mind Dove?" 

The plane had reached the blacktop and began to speed along, ready to take flight. You felt faint. "I'm gonna pass out. Oh god oh god oh god." 

His hand slowly took yours, and he locked eyes. "Y/N, you'll be okay. I can understand your fear and doubt. But, I can promise you that you'll land safely." Loki's tone was soft and calming. The plane took to the air and you gripped his hand tightly, glancing out the window. "Focus on my eyes. Look at me Dove." 

You followed his word and looked into his eyes, getting lost just as before. Much more kind and soft than you'd expected, his gaze was truly captivating. A noticeable blush crept down your neck, making him smile. "How are you so calm? Aren't you afraid? We could crash or land on a deserted island full of cannibals!" 

Loki choked back a laugh "My dear I think you watch too many movies. The odds of such events taking place are about as likely as the odds me wielding my brother's hammer." 

"Why wouldn't be able to carry a hammer? You seem rather muscular. How big of a hammer is it?"

"Do you know of Thor?"

"From the Avengers!? Of course! He's a hero!" Loki winced at the word hero. "You can't mean his magic hammer- wait you're his brother!? What was he like when you were younger? How did you-" An annoyed finger was pressed to your lips, effectively shutting you up. 

"He's not as much a hero as you'd think. Yes I mean that hammer. I'm his adopted brother. As children he was ruthless and a bully." Loki answered each question in turn. His brow twitch angrily. 

"A bully? But he seems so nice."

"Hate to kill your fantasy but, that's not the case."

"What did he do to you?" You were genuinely curious, the flash of pain in Loki's eyes made your stomach churn. 

"What didn't he do would be the shorter list. He treated me like a joke. We had our good days, sure, but the moment his admirers drew near I'd be cast aside. He was everyone's warrior and hero, I was just a neglected means of entertainment… I just wanted a brother, he wanted to be King." Loki's hand gripped yours as he spoke. His spite and anguish were apparent. "Oh well, nowadays he and I agree to disagree." He feigned a smile. 

"Jeez, I'm sorry. I can assure you that you're much more than a joke. You're a good person."

"I'm responsible for the attack on New York."

"..." You were only slightly surprised "That's fine. I'm sure conquering worlds is normal where you're from. Let's call it a cultural difference."

Loki's expression was between confusion and amusement. "Cultural difference?" His laugh was loud and genuine. You figured he didn't get to laugh like that often. "M-My dear I killed almost two hundred people. Does that not frighten or worry you? I planned to enslave your entire race. Does that not anger you?"

"Planned to doesn't mean you did. Can't be convicted for a crime you didn't commit yet. Well, technically you can… but I personally won't hold it against you." You smiled at him. His eyes shone with something you couldn't quite define. 

"Y/N...that may be the bravest and or stupidest decision of your life." He spoke bluntly. 

You cocked an eyebrow at him. "Why's that?"

"Don't you realize that I'm a villain? I'm the one the heroes fight to protect you from. The one who tries again and again to make others miserable." He paused "I am the monster that parents tell their children about at night." His head hung low and his voice was heavy. 

You giggled beside him and he snapped up to look at you. "I'm sorry, but you're awfully innocent looking for a monster. You have kind eyes and a pretty face."

Loki blushed faintly "You mock me?" 

"No. I compliment you. I mean it."

"Then you're a fool."

"How-" The plane jerked, reminding you of your current location "the hell did I forget that we are on this thing!?" 

Loki chuckled "How are still afraid after so much time has passed?" 

"It's been like five minutes!"

"Dove, we've been airborne for three hours. We've been talking for quite a while."

You checked your watch "Holy shit. How have I not had a mental breakdown yet?"

"You're welcome." 

You rolled your eyes but couldn't fight your smile. "Thank you Loki. I'll be back." You unlatched yourself and stood up. 

"Where are you off to?" 

"The restroom." 

"Mind if I join you? We could be part of the flying high club." He winked. 

"It's called the mile high club you pervert. No thanks." You laughed and started to slide past him. 

"Pity. This view is a favorable second though." He was definitely staring at your ass as you moved in front of him. You blushed and moved faster. "Hate to see you go, love to watch you leave Dove." He smirked as you walked, loving the switch of your stride. 

                     *****A few minutes later*****

You came back to Loki reading one of the provided magazines, looking bored. Upon seeing you an expectant grin adorned his features. 

"Passing through?" 

"Shut up Loki." 

He chuckled and waited for you to pass. Reluctantly you moved in front of him, heading to your seat. Turbulence struck again, instinctively you sat down quickly, scared out of your mind. The seat shifted beneath you, Loki chuckled behind you. His arms wrapped around your waist, holding you in place. Your face burned red. 

"Well this is a lovely turn of events." He whispered gruffly in your ear. You went to stand but he didn't let go, pulling you closer against him. "Was this not your intended position Dove?"

“You know it wasn’t." You hissed. 

"Well, I'm certainly pleased by the current situation. Mind staying a while Y/N? I promise I won't bite." He immediately nipped at your neck, earning a squeak from you. "... Much." 

"Loki, let me go." You tried to hate how much you enjoyed his warmth. Hesitantly you allowed yourself to lean back against his chest. You could feel his low chuckle. 

"I don't think you mean that." You could hear the grin in his voice. 

"Ladies and gentlemen we have entered the fourth hour of our twelve hours flight. The attendants will be making rounds with pillows and blankets as we enter the evening hours. Please feel free to ask for anything else you may require for comfort, though it may be an additional fee." The head flight attendant spoke over the intercom. Soon enough the cart was heading down your aisle. 

Loki still held you captive on his lap. You didn't want the flight attendant to see you like that. "Loki! Let me go back to my seat! Please?"

"No. A dove in the lap is worth two seated by side."

"Be a good girl and sit still. The plane servant is coming, care for a blanket?"

"Don't change the subject! Let me go!" You whined and tried to stand only to be roughly pulled into his lap again. The stewardess was two rows away. You made a split second decision to stay put as the needy god demanded. You turned away from the aisle and curled up in his lap, your feet on the seat you once occupied. "Stupid jerk." You pulled on your hood and rested your head on his shoulder. 

Loki's breath hitched as you did so and you listened to the quickening pace of his heartbeat. "Well, this is an unexpected and welcome change. Decided to comply Dove?" One of his hands rested on your hip, the other on your side. You grumbled an incoherent reply. 

"Hello!" The blonde woman greeted. "May I interest you or your wife in a pillow? Blanket perhaps?" 

Loki forced back a laugh with much effort "I'll take a pillow. You need anything Dove?" He asked, placing the cushion behind his head. You refused to move, hoping she'd think you're asleep. "Dove?" Unfortunately Loki wouldn't let you play out your charade. His hand at your side squeezed a few times earning a squeal and giggle from you. 

"J-Just a blanket is fine." You spoke softly, suppressing the urge to strangle the chuckling man. The blonde woman smiled and handed you the blanket before moving on. You waited till she was a few rows back before speaking again. "I can't believe she called me your wife!" 

The laughter Loki had held in was set free. "That was amazing!" You had to admit, he looked good when he laughed freely like that, smiling wide, eyes squeezed shut, nose crinkled slightly. 

"Cute…" You muttered wistfully. 

"I beg your pardon Dove?" He wiped a tear from his eye. You blushed and leaned against him again, ignoring his inquiry. Loki decided to let it go, settling for wrapping his arms around you once more. "I suppose you'll have to sleep like this." 

You groaned. You'd only met this man today and yet he seemed so hellbent on messing with you. "A true man of mischief." You thought aloud. You couldn't see the smirk that adorned his features. 

                            ***Time Skip***

You awoke about nine hours into the flight. You stretch out your tired limbs and yawned wide before realizing that you were still on Loki's lap. This time when you went to stand up he didn't stop you, didn't even budge. He was sound asleep and you giggled at the idea that he dreams of conquering worlds before moving back to your assigned seat. You sat quietly and alone with a magazine for about fifteen minutes before Loki came to. He jolted awake, wide eyed and gasping. He seemed to take a moment to get comfortable with his surroundings and then looking at you. 

"How dare you! Get back over here on my lap." Loki glared at you. 

"No. I don't have to." You stuck your tongue out at him. 

His glare suddenly broke into a smirk “Fine. Then I’ll move.” The god stood and snatched the publication from your hands and plopped onto your lap. He leaned against the wall of the plane and threw his legs over the armrest. He crossed his arms with a satisfied grin.

“Really Loki?” you deadpanned. You weren’t surprised when he decided to answer your question by wiggling his butt in your lap instead of using words. You fought back a smile “You’re such a child.”

“You love me and you know it.” Loki stuck his tongue out at you. He chuckled as you rolled your eyes in response.

“Can I at least have the magazine back?”

“Why look at book models when you’ve got one in your lap?” 

“As pretty as you are, I'd like to keep reading my article.”

“What was it about?”

“...How to find a meaningful relationship.” Your face heated up.

“Oh! Are you single then?” Loki looked like a kid in a candy store.

“Always have been.” You huffed.

“You’ve never had a serious relationship!?”

“Shhh! Not so loud, jeez.” 

“What about a lover? Ever had a steamy night of passion and-”

“No! I haven’t.”

“Shh not so loud Y/N.” Loki mocked.

Your face was bright red “Shut up Loki.”

The man in your lap gasped in mock offense and held a hand over his heart “Ouch Y/N and here I was going to be so kind as to offer you my flawless body as your first.”

“Wait what!?”

“Y/N” Loki lifted your chin to look into his eyes “I would love” he leaned in “...to be the first man you allow to pleasure you.” he placed a surprisingly gentle kiss  upon your lips. You closed your eyes and sighed softly. You felt him smile against your mouth. “Well Y/N, will you be mine?”

“Yes.” You couldn’t believe yourself, you’d just met him after all, but one more look in those hypnotic green eyes and you found yourself adding Loki to the top of your ‘To Do’ list. 

    “Well then Dove, I’ll make sure you never have need for another article again clothing or otherwise.” He growled into your ear, making you blush again. The flight attendant announced the beginning of the plane’s descent. Loki reluctantly moved back to his seat. He took your hand in his and held it tightly as the plane began to land. 

“Thanks for helping me through this Loki.”

“Think nothing of it Dove. You can repay me tonight.” He gave a flirty wink, to which you rolled your eyes. Loki helped you gather your luggage as he seemingly had none. He walked behind you down the ramp. Entering the airport you had to stop and gawk for a moment at the fifty guns aimed at the door instinctively you froze.

“She’s clear, Move her along.” You recognized the man speaking as the one and only Steve Rogers. Two SHIELD agents helped you out of the way as five more rushed past you and onto the plane. Once you were beyond the squad of men an invisible hand found yours.

“I’d assume the welcome wagon is for you.” You whispered, not looking back.

“Right you are my dear. So, if you’re still up for our night of fun I highly suggest that we move a little faster.” Loki’s soft voice came in beside you.

“You really are the God of Mischief.”

There was a low chuckle “The one and only.”

Taglist: @lo-ki-ticklish, @lokidoki-imagines,  @sociallyawkwardbeanwhowrites